Communication and Secure Bonds: Keys to Parenting in Contexts of Change

Many fathers and mothers who move through life amid the chaos of being themselves and the different roles acquired over time find themselves confronted with the task of raising their children, also shaped by what Sigmund Bauman refers to as “liquid” modernity, where life moves quickly, with an apparent freedom that is misinterpreted and driven by adults occupied within a consumerist society. In this context, empty senses of belonging are formed, along with superficial interpersonal relationships lacking emotional responsibility. Meanwhile, children go through an inevitable developmental process, with millions of neurons thirsty for learning, seemingly destined for an endpoint that originates in the chaos experienced by their parents or caregivers.

Although everything may seem chaotic, this is where the question arises: from where do we mobilize ourselves to build safe environments for children and practical ones for parents? One key lies in language, the tool that differentiates us as humans. As Paul Watzlawick explains in his axioms of communication, it is impossible not to communicate: every message is interaction.

For this reason, adults must pause and reflect on the way they convey teachings. Every child is ready to learn, but they also need to feel loved, guided, and safe. Every word, gesture, or boundary shapes their way of relating to the world. Language must essentially contain love and affection, promoting secure attachment bonds through active listening and emotional validation. At the same time, clear and consistent boundaries guide and protect without resorting to punishment, generating trust and closeness in children.

Children also learn through example; therefore, coherence in parenting is fundamental, since everything we wish to see in a child should be a reflection of coherence in the beliefs, actions, and convictions of their parents. Fostering autonomy and responsibility is an exercise in supervision—and yes, it may sound somewhat contradictory. However, supervision implies that children make decisions appropriate to their age and emotional resources, in pursuit of learning greater commitments over time. This act of supervision creates spaces in which parents can recognize achievements, value efforts, and encourage new learning, forging within family dynamics environments that support the construction of secure bonds.

Present parenting is the foundation of future adults. The mission of parents and caregivers is to break failed cycles in order to form empathetic, respectful adults who are connected to themselves. Educating is not easy, but it is an opportunity to accompany with love, coherence, and respect, sowing trust so that children can spread their own wings—strong and uplifting—capable of carrying these attributes from generation to generation.